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~Bertrand Russell

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Jul 23 2010
TrackBack Address.

“The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy; I mean that if you are happy you will be good.”

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Preparation for Memorial Day

Posted in Worthy Beans by Grind Master
May 24 2010

Even if you’ve seen it before, pass it on.

It is the
VETERAN,
not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is
the VETERAN,
not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

 

It is
the VETERAN,
not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

 

 

 

 

It is the
VETERAN who
salutes the Flag,

 

It is
the
VETERAN
who serves
under the Flag,


ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD,
AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

We can be very
proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve.
And I’m one of them whose proud to be an AMERICAN…

God
Bless them all!!!

 

Makes you proud to be an AMERICAN!!!!

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Tagged as: accountability, blog, Freedom, friend, grind master, inspirational, makes ya think, Memorial Day, recomended, responsibility, Veteran

~Dale Carnegie

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
May 24 2010

“Remember happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely upon what you think. ”
Dale Carnegie

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

~Richard Bach

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Apr 30 2010
“In order to live happily and free, you may have to sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.”

~Richard Bach

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Sam Crowley www.EverydayIsSaturday.com

Posted in Worthy Beans by Grind Master
Apr 27 2010


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Tagged as: accountability, brain teaser, friend, grind master, Grind Works, Humor, inspirational, makes ya think, Quote of the Day, recomended, responsibility

~George Bernard Shaw

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Mar 22 2010

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

~George Bernard Shaw

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Our Friends and Great Causes

Posted in Worthy Beans by Grind Master
Sep 29 2009

Worthy Beans is made up of our friends, partners and other causes that we support.  Please visit our friends and if applicable, there could be some incentives for linking through us.

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Tagged as: recomended

Our Friends

Posted in Worthy Beans by Grind Master
Sep 29 2009

Every Day is Saturday

Rich Dad Poor Dad

NC RR

Tagged as: recomended

Brain Teasers October 15th

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 15 2009

#1
Give Get
Give Get
Give Get
Give Get

#2
I’m
world

#3
minI’LL BE THEREute

#4
ATfrankfrankRA

#5
roforkad

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Brain Teasers October 16th

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 16 2009

#1
OdOoOmO

#2
hcidl

#3
BRIDGE
w  t r
 a  e
 

#4
TTTTTTTTT9.9

#5
B    B
U    U
R    R
N    N

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Brain Teasers – October 17th

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 17 2009

#1
NV GREEN

#2
Robert D O

#3
thought an

#4
little LARGE
little LARGE
little little
little LARGE

#5
cl_udy

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Bookworm’s math

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 19 2009

A bookworm eats from the first page of an encyclopedia to the last page. The bookworm eats in a straight line. The encyclopedia consists of ten 1000-page volumes and is sitting on a bookshelf in the usual order. Not counting covers, title pages, etc., how many pages does the bookworm eat through?
(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Trains

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 20 2009

A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: “Do you know how to use the equipment?” “Yes”, the boy replied. “Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?” The young applicant thought and replied “I’d press the button to change the points without hesitation.” “What if the button was frozen and wouldn’t work?” “I’d run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually” “And if the lever was broken?” “I’d get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points,” he replied. “And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?” The boy thought about that one. “I’d run into town and get my uncle” “Is your uncle an electrician?” “No, but he’s never seen a train crash before!”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Light Switch

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 20 2009

You are standing outside a closed door. On the other side of the door is a room that has three light bulbs in it. The room is completely sealed off from the outside. It has no windows and nothing can get in or out except through the door. On the outside of the room there are three light switches that control each of the respective light bulbs on the other side of the door.

Your assignment is to determine which light switch controls which light bulb. You are allowed to enter the room only once, and once you come out, you must be able to state with 100% certainty which light switch controls which light bulb.

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

New benefit program

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 21 2009

Notice to Employees (Includes Part Time Workers)

SICKNESS
We will no longer accept your doctors’ statements as proof.
We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having operations will be FIRED immediately.

PREGNANCY
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart. If it is false labor, you will have to take an hour’s leave without pay.

DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job prior to . . . or after death.

This new benefit program started yesterday.
The Management

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Quiz written by Einstein

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 21 2009

Below is a Quiz written by Einstein in the lst century.
He said 98% of the people in the world cannot solve the quiz. Are you among the other 2%?
FACTS

  1. There are 5 houses in 5 different colors.
  2. In each house lives a person with a different nationality.
  3. These 5 owners drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
  4. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same drink.

HINTS

  1. The Brit lives in a red house.
  2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
  3. The Dane drinks tea.
  4. The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
  5. The green house owner drinks coffee.
  6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
  7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
  8. The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk.
  9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
  10. The man who smokes blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.
  11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
  12. The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
  13. The German smokes Prince.
  14. The Norwegian lives next to the Blue House.
  15. The man who smokes blend has a neighbor who drinks water.

THE QUESTION IS….WHO KEEPS FISH?

There is no trick to this – it needs deductive reasoning and definitely a pen and paper.

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Law Student

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 22 2009

Few years ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee. The student struck a deal saying, “I would pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court”. Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course.

When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, student reminded the deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

Did the teacher make the right decision? Will he get his fee from the student?
 
 

Answer (more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Signs of Insanity: Programmers

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 22 2009

1. You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven’t had any caffeine in about 6 hours.
2. You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizarre rules of grammar but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense.
3. You start dreaming in recursion (if you have any time to dream).
4. You realize not only is it daytime but your project is due in 2 hours, which isn’t enough time to even begin running it.
5. You start customizing your environment because you want it “just right” (and because further work on the program is futile).
6. You wonder when the invasion will begin.
7. You understand #8.
8. You start signing your name in octal (or binary) just because.
9. You know more programming commands than actual words.
10. You realize that you have reached the end, and there is no closing command.

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

COMPUTER TERMS – TEXAS TRANSLATION

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 23 2009

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin’ the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin’ home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain’t in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it’s black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What’s in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer “c’mon in, y’all”
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can’t ‘member what ya paid fer the rifle

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Word Games

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 23 2009

Substitute digits for the letters to make the following addition true.
                               H  O  W
                         S  W  E  E  T
                   +  C  O  F  F  E  E
                  ———————
                      T  A  S  T  E  S
Note that the leftmost letter can’t be zero in any word. Also, there must be a one-to-one mapping between digits and letters. e.g. if you substitute 9 for the letter T, no other letter can be 9 and all other T in the puzzle must be 9.

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

I WON!

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 24 2009

An antarctican goes into a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel-off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, “I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home! I WON a motor home!”
The waitress runs over and says, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!”
The antarctican replies, “No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!” By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motor homes because we didn’t have that as a prize!”
 Again the antarctican says, “No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!” She hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Spoken language

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 24 2009

Mrs. F has invited several wives of delegates to the United Nations for an informal luncheon. She plans to seat her 9 guests ina row such that each lady will be able to converse with the person directly to her left and right. She has prepared the following list.

Mrs. F speaks English only.
Mrs. G speaks English and French.
Mrs. H speaks English and Russian.
Mrs. J speaks Russian only.
Mrs. K speaks English only.
Mrs. L speaks French only.
Mrs. M speaks French and German.
Mrs. N speaks English and German.
Mrs. O speaks English only.

How many distinct seating arrangements are possible? Give all possible seating arrangements.

Note that ABCD and DCBA are the same. 
 

Answer

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Great, as if I didn’t get enough crap already….

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 26 2009

So I’m at work yesterday and the mailclerk starts handing out letters from upper management. At this point, I’m thinking “Oh crap, how am I gonna tell my family I got laid off?” Fortunately, I’m only 29 years old. You’ll understand when you read the letter.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Manager. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can get.

Great, as if I didn’t get enough crap already….

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Tennessee

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 26 2009

Is it legal in Tennessee for a man to marry his widow’s sister?    

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Those crooks!

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 27 2009

Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Billy a $5.00 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.
Thanks,
Billy

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Student Accommodation

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 27 2009

Alex, Bret, Chris, Derek, Eddie, Fred, Greg, Harold, and John are nine students who live in a three storey building, with three rooms on each floor. A room in the West wing, one in the centre, and one in the East wing. If you look directly at the building, the left side is West and the right side is East. Each student is assigned exactly one room. Can you find where each of their rooms is:

1. Harold does not live on the bottom floor.

2. Fred lives directly above John and directly next to Bret (who lives in the West wing).

3. Eddie lives in the East wing and one floor higher than Fred.

4. Derek lives directly above Fred.

5. Greg lives directly above Chris.

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Theory of Woo

Posted in Worthy Beans by Grind Master
Oct 27 2009

Life in the Key of Z

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Tagged as: blog, friend, recomended

Hobby business

Posted in Worthy Beans by Grind Master
Oct 27 2009

Earthly InnoScents

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Tagged as: recomended

Technological Doctor

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 28 2009
One day, a man complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00.”

The guy figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise andvarious lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in thisample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises,flashedlights, and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant….twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

And…. if you don’t stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better!

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

How’d that happen?

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 28 2009

You are on an island in the middle of a lake. The lake is in a remote part of the country and there has never been a bridge connecting the island to the mainland.

Every day a tractor and wagon gives hay rides around the island. Puzzled as to how the tractor had gotten onto the island, you ask around and find out that the tractor was not transported to the island by boat or by air. Nor was it built on the island.

Explain how the tractor got there?

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Dummy vs. Dummy

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 29 2009

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

A blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little idiot on your knee.”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

A Man in an Elevator

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Oct 29 2009

A man who lives on the tenth floor takes the elevator down to the first floor every morning and goes to work. In the evening, when he comes back; on a rainy day, or if there are other people in the elevator, he goes to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to his apartment.
Can you explain why?
(This is one of the more popular and most celebrated of all lateral thinking logic puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions that fit the conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.)

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Unknown II

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Oct 30 2009

“We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing.”

Unknown – if anyone knows, do share please.  Thank you.  GM

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Bottle of Wine

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Oct 30 2009

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women  drivers.
The woman says, ‘So, you’re a man.. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.’

 Flattered, the man replies, ‘Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you’re still at fault…women shouldn’t be allowed to drive.’
The woman continues, ‘And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, ‘Aren’t you having any?’
The woman replies, ‘No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…’

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don’t mess with them.

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes, makes ya think

Steve Rapson

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Oct 30 2009

“When I grip the wheel too tight, I find I lose control.”
Steve Rapson

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Thomas Szasz

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Nov 02 2009

“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds. It is something one creates.”
Thomas Szasz

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Sweet Revenge

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 08 2009

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Matchstick Equations

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Nov 08 2009

Try to rectify a mistake by moving a single matchstick, to get the correct equation.
(Edit: you can not place any matchstick diagonally over the equals sign)

The following equation is made of 11 matches:
XI – V = IV (more solutions)

The following equation is made of 11 matches:
X + V = IV (more solutions)

The following equation is made of 10 matches:
L + L = L (more solutions)

The following equation is made of 12 matches:
VI = IV – III (more solutions)

The following equation is made of 14 matches:
XIV – V = XX

The following equation is made of 11 matches:
IX – IX = V

The following equation is made of 12 matches:
X = VIII – II

The following equation is made of 7 matches:
VII = I
Solutions (more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Gretta Brooker Palmer

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Nov 08 2009

“Happiness is a by product of an effort to make someone else happy.”
Gretta Brooker Palmer

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Sam Crowley – Motivational Speaker

Posted in Stimulate my Brain, Worthy Beans by Grind Master
Nov 13 2009

Okay, I’m not one who actually listens to these motivational peeps.  They generally have me turning it off within the first 2 minutes.  On the other hand, this guy makes sence, doesn’t go overboard and keeps it real.  Check out one of his short video’s  Congratulations You Lost Your Job (Not Your Dream)

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Tagged as: recomended

Illiteracy in Louisiana ?

Posted in Dark Roast, LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 18 2009

Illiteracy in Louisiana ? 

How would you pronounce this child’s name?  She spells her name “Le-a”

So how would YOU pronounce her name?
Leah?  …………………NO.
Lee – A?  ……………… NOPE.
Lay – a?  ………….. NOT A CHANCE.
Lei?………..NICE TRY, BUT GUESS AGAIN!
This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA.  Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her child’s name wrong.  She says it’s pronounced “Ledasha.”  When the Mother was asked how in the world she figured  it should be pronounced that way, she said, ”cause the dash don’t be silent!”  So, if you see a name come across your desk like this, please remember to pronounce the dash.  And if anyone axes you why, tell them it’s ’cause the dash don’t be silent!
Someone… pleeeeze, pleeeze tell me dis don’t bes true!  Surely, someone bes jokin’ wid us?!?!

 

Special thanks to uncle Rich and his hysterical emails! 

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast, Grind Works, Humor, jokes, makes ya think

How much should each student pay?

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Nov 19 2009

Mr. Subramaniam rents a private car for Andheri-Colaba-Andheri trip. It costs him Rs. 300 everyday.

One day the car driver informed Mr. Subramaniam that there were two students from Bandra who wished to go from Bandra to Colaba and back to Bandra. Bandra is halfway between Andheri and Colaba. Mr. Subramaniam asked the driver to let the students travel with him.

On the first day when they came, Mr. Subramaniam said, “If you tell me the mathematically correct price you should pay individually for your portion of the trip, I will let you travel for free.”

How much should the individual student pay for their journey?

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Relational

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Nov 20 2009

A, B, C and D are related to each other.

  • One of the four is the opposite sex from each of the other three.
  • D is A’s brother or only daughter.
  • A or B is C’s only son.
  • B or C is D’s sister.

How are they related to each other?

(more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Represent different digits

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Nov 21 2009

The letters E, G, H, I, N, S, T, V, and X represent different digits 0-9.

  1. SIX is a three digit number equal to the product of two consecutive integers
  2. SEVEN is a five digit prime number
  3. EIGHT is a five digit perfect cube
  4. Neither S nor E is 0

What numbers are SIX, SEVEN and EIGHT? (more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

Good timing!

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 19 2009

One CEO always scheduled staff meetings for 4:30 on Friday afternoons. One of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, the CEO explained, “I’ll tell you its very simple – it’s the only time of the week when none of you seems to want to argue with me.”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

What your computer is REALLY saying

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 20 2009
It says: “Press Any Key”
It means: “Press any key you like but I’m not moving.”

It says: “Press A Key”
(This one’s a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the “A” key.)

It says: “Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error
no. 1A4-2546512430E” It means: “… where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it’s a hardware problem.”

It says: “Installing program to C:\….”
It means: “… And I’ll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you’ll NEVER find them.”

It says: “Please insert disk 11″
It means: “Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks.”

It says: “Not enough memory”
It means: “I don’t CARE if you’ve got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K.”

It says: “Cannot read from drive D:….”
It means: “… However, if you put the CD in right side up…”

It says: “Please Wait….”
It means: “… Indefinitely.”

It says: “Directory does not exist….”
It means: “…. any more. Whoops.”

It says: “The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close.” It means: “….Makes no difference to me, you’re still not getting your work back.”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

A Lawyer in Heaven

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 21 2009

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.

St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homes where they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know.

Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says, “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Wait minute! How come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?”

St. Peter says: “Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Jerry Chin

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Nov 24 2009

“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”
Jerry Chin

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Another Unknown good one

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 24 2009

A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition.

Ouch!!!

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Tagged as: grind master, Grind Works, Humor, inspirational, jokes, makes ya think

Very Serious IT

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Nov 24 2009

There is one Very Serious IT department.
All staff comes to work at 6am and leaves around 11pm.
Suddenly, one guy started his day at 9am.
All the guys exchanged “looks”.
And he left at 6pm.
All the guys exchanged “looks”.
Next day is the same story.
And the day after is the same story.
Finally, they come to this rebel to explain the rules.
He listened, kept quiet for a while and said: ”Excuse me guys, I am on vacation…”

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Howard Thurman

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Dec 06 2009

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Howard Thurman

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Robert Ingersoll

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Dec 17 2009

“There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences.”
Robert Ingersoll

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Hugh Downs

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Dec 19 2009

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”
Hugh Downs

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Blonds Jokes Part 1

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Dec 19 2009

I’m infamous for collecting Blond Jokes so, I figured I could share them here.  Forgive me if you’ve heard them.

What do you call a bunch of blonds standing in a row?  (more…)

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes, Light Roast

Ann Landers

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Dec 20 2009

“The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.”
Ann Landers

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

January 5th Jokes

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Jan 06 2010

The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.” The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.” The man replied, “I know, but our neighbors did.”

And just because I like it sooo much….

Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.

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Tagged as: Grind Works, Humor, jokes

Jules Ormont Quote

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Jan 19 2010

“Make yourself indispensable and you’ll get moved up in life. Act as if you’re indispensable and you’ll be moved out.” -Jules Ormont

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Daniel J. Boorstin

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Jan 21 2010

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.” ~Daniel J. Boorstin

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

African Proverb

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Jan 25 2010

“The one who asks questions doesn’t lose his way.” ~African Proverb

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

~Bernard M. Baruch

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Jan 26 2010

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” ~Bernard M. Baruch

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Nothing like a smart *** to cheer up your day…

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Jan 26 2010

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is reportedly an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, is why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions
that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? (more…)

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast, Decaf, Humor

~Edward E. Cummings

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Jan 28 2010

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” ~Edward E. Cummings

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

Color Test

Posted in Dark Roast by Grind Master
Jan 28 2010

These are the things we’re supposed to do to remove the cholesterol around our brain and try to slow up
Alzheimer’s Disease.. It took me 4 times before I could finally tell this brain of mine to concentrate. A great
test, do it until you get 100%!
Bet you can’t get 100% on the first try! But I’m rootin’ for ya…
This is pretty neat! See how you do with the colors! Have fun!
It takes an average of 5 tries to get to 100%. Follow the directions!
It’s harder than it seems, as it should be!

A brain waker-upper for today!
Click here to start

This is fun… interesting.  Enjoy!

Color Test

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Tagged as: brain teaser, Dark Roast

~Grind Master

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Feb 11 2010

Look not for a solution to your problems but rather the strength to get out of bed in the morning and off the couch to do what you know in your heart to be right.  With this, our problems will disappear or cease to be important.

~Grind Master

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quote of the Day, Quotes

~Oprah

Posted in Light Roast by Grind Master
Feb 17 2010

“You CAN have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.”

~Oprah

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Tagged as: Light Roast, Quotes

GIT gets schooled on bus by 67 year old

Posted in LOL Grind Works by Grind Master
Feb 17 2010

This has got to be the video of the week!  Check out the G-oochies (Ghetto Hoochies) egging on the GIT.   Old man schools his punk behind though.  And.. they show their true colors… laughin’ hyenas

67-year-old-white-man-beats-up-a-loud-mouthed-thug-something-tough-video

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Tagged as: accountability, Grind Works, Humor, jokes, makes ya think, responsibility

Something new

Posted in Dark Roast, Decaf, LOL Grind Works, Light Roast by Grind Master
Aug 04 2010
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It’s 2010 people, get the F$%# over it!

Posted in Decaf by Grind Master
Apr 26 2010
Okay folks, I’m on a tare again. I just got the mail from the mailbox and I found this large yellow post card addressed to my wonderful husband. Looks like junk mail so I check to see what it is. The first thing that catches my eye is the name of who it’s from “Durham Committee On The Affairs Of Black People” … At this point, it’s minor irritation at the perpetuation of separation of American’s by color (one of my biggest pet peeves), then I notice what it’s about:

On the back in large bold print is a list of political candidates whom this ill named committee “Respectfully Recommends the Following Candidates who Have Been Interviewed and Endorsed” and an offer for a ride to the polls on 5/4/2010. I’m all for giving people a ride to the polls, no issue there. I’m all for educating anyone who can’t get the information themselves BUT to outright tell people to vote because a committee says so… BOOM! I lost it. What kind of twisted sideways pig to slaughter type crap is this? Someone explain this insanity! I tried to call the number listed to give them a piece of my mind… no answer, no machine.. gee, I’m shocked.

Grrrr…..

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Tagged as: Decaf, makes ya think, Odd News, responsibility

~G Kinsley Wood

Posted in Medium Roast by Grind Master
Mar 03 2010
“Dare to dream, dare to try, dare to fail – dare to succeed.”

G Kinsley Wood

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Tagged as: Medium Roast, Quote of the Day

Return of the Town Crier II

Posted in Bean Bags, Decaf, Stimulate my Brain by Klark E Dark
Mar 02 2010

Now that some 15 years have pass and I can look at the finite facts of everything that I tried to instill in my children, let’s look over the lessons. One; never lying to them or sugar coating answers to their questions no matter what they were. Two; always sacrificing my body mind and heart so they would have a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, food on their table and even toys for holidays and birthdays. Three; never stealing from anyone even though it would be easy because of the trust gained. Four; never disrespecting their mother in public nor private. Five; leading by example and never asking them to do anything that I have not, would not or could not do.

With these five elements I went about raising my family to be productive responsible adults  that would make a positive impact on the world. My daughter will be 21 in August, Allowed her to come back home 4 times to get her self  together since leaving home at 18 because her choice was leave or be honest with us what happened when we were at work. She chose to leave. At this point in her life no job, 8th grade GED education, no drivers license (doesn’t know how to drive), no medical yet (trying to get medicaid) relying on others to take her places and has no will to put forth the effort it will take to survive.

My son who just turned 18 who has not been home since turning 14 because he like his sister did not want to be honest to the people that mattered the most has been in and out of the system of staying with relatives, jail, level three group homes, level two group home and now couch surfing. Has a job (he’s a male he’d better dick is free pussy costs), 9th grade GED education, knows how to drive but no license. Has all the great ideas in the world but no follow through and follows  the wrong types of influences. He has managed to go from level two group home, turn 18, get kicked out of roommate set up, refuse help from said level two  group home and get his girlfriend kicked out as well in three days.

My only hope is that at some point all the sacrificing their mother and I did will matter enough to kick start their brains and they will grab their ears and pull with all their might until they hear a vigorous pop. Because they are really suffering from a sever case of Rectal cranial insertion.

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Tagged as: accountability, brain teaser, Decaf, makes ya think, responsibility
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