Mental Coffee

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” ~Edward E. Cummings

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is reportedly an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, is why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions
that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? (more…)

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” ~Bernard M. Baruch

“The one who asks questions doesn’t lose his way.” ~African Proverb

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.” ~Daniel J. Boorstin

“Make yourself indispensable and you’ll get moved up in life. Act as if you’re indispensable and you’ll be moved out.” -Jules Ormont

The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.” The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.” The man replied, “I know, but our neighbors did.”

And just because I like it sooo much….

Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.

Events
1759 – George Washington marries Martha Dandridge Custis.
1781 – American Revolutionary War: Richmond, Virginia, is burned by British naval forces led by Benedict Arnold.
1846 – The United States House of Representatives votes to stop sharing the Oregon Territory with the United Kingdom.
1854 – The San Francisco steamer sinks, killing 300 people.
1889 – Preston North End is declared winner of the original football league.
1896 – An Austrian newspaper reports that Wilhelm Roentgen has discovered a type of radiation later known as X-rays.
1900 – Irish leader John Edward Redmond calls for a revolt against British rule.
1909 – Colombia recognizes the independence of Panama.
1911 – Kappa Alpha Psi, the Worlds second oldest and largest black fraternity is founded at Indiana University.
1912 – The Prague Party Conference takes place.
1914 – The Ford Motor Company announces an eight-hour workday and a minimum wage of $5 for a day’s labor.
1925 – Nellie Tayloe Ross of Wyoming becomes the first female governor in the United States.
1933 – Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge begins in San Francisco Bay.
1940 – FM radio is demonstrated to the Federal Communications Commission for the first time.
1944 – The Daily Mail becomes the first transoceanic newspaper.
1945 – The Soviet Union recognizes the new pro-Soviet government of Poland.
1972 – U.S. President Richard Nixon orders the development of a space shuttle program.
1974 – An earthquake in Lima, Peru, kills six people, and damages hundreds of houses.
1974 – Warmest reliably measured temperature in Antarctica of +59°F (+15°C) recorded at Vanda Station
1993 – The oil tanker MV Braer runs aground on the coast of the Shetland Islands, spilling 84,700 tons of crude oil.
1993 – Washington state executes Westley Allan Dodd by hanging (the last legal hanging in America).
1996 – Hamas bombmaker Yahya Ayyash is killed by an Israeli-planted booby-trapped cell phone.
2005 – Eris, the largest known dwarf planet in the solar system, is discovered by the team of Michael E. Brown, Chad Trujillo, and David L. Rabinowitz using images originally taken on October 21, 2003, at the Palomar Observatory.

Births
1950 – Chris Stein, American guitarist (Blondie)
1953 – Steve Archer, American singer (The Archers)
1953 – Pamela Sue Martin, American actress
1953 – George Tenet, American CIA director
1954 – Alex English, American basketball player
1959 – Clancy Brown, American actor
1962 – Danny Jackson, American baseball player
1963 – Jeff Fassero, American baseball player
1964 – Grant Young, American drummer (Soul Asylum)
1966 – Kate Schellenbach, American drummer (Luscious Jackson)
1967 – Joe Flanigan, American actor
1968 – Ricky Paull Goldin, American actor
1968 – Carrie Ann Inaba, American dancer and choreographer
1969 – Marilyn Manson, American singer
1975 – Bradley Cooper, American actor
1975 – Warrick Dunn, American football player
1975 – Mike Grier, American ice hockey player
1976 – Matt Wachter, American bassist (30 Seconds to Mars)
1978 – January Jones, American actress
1978 – Sabrina Harman, American military figure and accused torturer
1980 – Bennie Joppru, American football player
1981 – Brooklyn Sudano, American actress
1983 – Sean Dockery, American basketball player
1984 – Amanda Hearst, American heiress and model
1986 – J. P. Arencibia, American baseball player
1987 – Kristin Cavallari, American actress
1999 – Marc Yu, American musician

Deaths
1954 – Rabbit Maranville, American baseball player (b. 1891)
1963 – Rogers Hornsby, American baseball player (b. 1896)
1970 – Max Born, German physicist, Nobel laureate (b. 1882)
1976 – Mal Evans, Beatles’ “roadie” (b. 1935)
1978 – Wyatt Cooper, American screenwriter (b. 1927)
1979 – Charles Mingus, American musician (b. 1922)
1981 – Harold C. Urey, American chemist, Nobel laureate (b. 1893)
1982 – Hans Conried, American actor (b. 1917)
1982 – Harvey Lembeck, American actor (b. 1923)
1985 – Robert L. Surtees, American Oscar-winning cinematographer (Ben-Hur) (b. 1906)
1988 – Pete Maravich, American basketball player (b. 1947)
1990 – Arthur Kennedy, American actor (b. 1914)
1994 – Tip O’Neill, American politician (b. 1912)
1996 – Lincoln Kirstein, American writer, impresario, art connoisseur (b. 1907)
1997 – Burton Lane, American composer and lyricist (b. 1912)
1998 – Sonny Bono, American entertainer and politician (b. 1935)
1998 – Ken Forssi, American musician (Love) (b. 1943)
2001 – Nancy Parsons, American actress (b. 1942)
2003 – Jean Kerr, American author (b. 1923)
2004 – Tug McGraw, American baseball player, father of Tim McGraw (b. 1944)
2004 – Norman Heatley, member of the team of Oxford University scientists who developed penicillin (b. 1911)
2005 – Danny Sugerman, American music manager (The Doors) (b. 1954)
2007 – Chih Ree Sun, Chinese-American physicist and poet (b. 1923)
2009 – Ned Tanen, American movie executive (b. 1931)
2010 – Rory Markas, Angels baseball announcer (b.1955)

“The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.”
Ann Landers

I’m infamous for collecting Blond Jokes so, I figured I could share them here.  Forgive me if you’ve heard them.

What do you call a bunch of blonds standing in a row?  (more…)

Events

1907 – A group of 239 coal miners die during a mine explosion in Jacobs Creek, Pennsylvania.
1909 – Football club Borussia Dortmund is founded.
1912 – William H. Van Schaick, captain of the steamship General Slocum which caught fire and killed over 1,000 people, is pardoned by U.S. President William Howard Taft after three-and-a-half-years in Sing Sing prison.
1916 – World War I: Battle of Verdun – On the Western Front, the French Army successfully holds off the German Army and drives it back to its starting position.
1920 – King Constantine I is restored as King of the Hellenes after the death of his son Alexander I of Greece and a plebiscite.
1924 – The last Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost is sold in London, England.
1932 – BBC World Service begins broadcasting as the BBC Empire Service
1941 – World War II: Adolf Hitler becomes Supreme Commander-in-Chief of the German Army.
1946 – Start of the First Indochina War.
(more…)

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”
Hugh Downs

“There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences.”
Robert Ingersoll

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Howard Thurman

There is one Very Serious IT department.
All staff comes to work at 6am and leaves around 11pm.
Suddenly, one guy started his day at 9am.
All the guys exchanged “looks”.
And he left at 6pm.
All the guys exchanged “looks”.
Next day is the same story.
And the day after is the same story.
Finally, they come to this rebel to explain the rules.
He listened, kept quiet for a while and said: ”Excuse me guys, I am on vacation…”